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“Forget the fireworks. They threw out left-over hot-dogs. That really freaked me out.”
“It’s National Fried Chicken Day – Don’t tag us on Facebook.”
“Harmless on land, when armed with aquatic dumbbells and a noodle – Sheila was chlorinated chaos.”
“The conservatives want burgers. The liberals want veggie burgers. The independents want to know the cost of this BBQ, and if you’re testing for doneness.”
“If our stay-cation is just staying on our patio, I’m running away with that Trivago guy.”
“They shrunk the new 1040 tax form to postcard-size, then added six worksheets. Antacid and ibuprofen sold separately.”
“I just got a badge for hitting 10,000 steps. Now I’m going to Uber home.”
“We would never ask anyone to leave. We require them to stay and hear the cook’s views on; politics, trade, immigration, and the media.”
“Because some days you’re perfectly fine with resting bitch face.”
“My beach bag is a wine tote. My sandals are bottle openers. My sun hat has solar & psychic powers.”
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