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“As past presidents of the HOA, the PTA, and the bowling league… If you don’t vote, don’t complain.”
“This is a candy corn martini. You know, for people who think they hate candy corn.”
“No crackers! Just protein, protein, and more protein.”
“I hate when the kids go back to school. No crumbs on the floor until after 3:30 PM.”
“Just because you wore wide-leg jeans in the’70s doesn’t mean it still works in your 60s.”
“Pumpkin Spice toilet paper and toilet bowl cleaner; you don’t have to thank us.”
“Oh, we’re wearing white after Labor Day, and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it.”
“It’s officially the end of summer when Brenda gets pool noodles for 70% off.”
“Believe it or not, Melissa, Dad and I are unable to drop everything to accommodate you. Wait for it; we have plans.”
“When they say, ‘It’s all good,’ they’re lying.”
