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“Stop calling it an “adult sippy cup.” Take your nap, and then we’ll have a snack.”
“Five potatoes, three mushrooms, packets of soy sauce, chocolate chips… and wait for it, no recipe card.”
“Expresso martinis are everything. Caffeine, alcohol, and more foam than that guy’s beer.”
“A penguin in a two-piece swimsuit in Antarctica. Hmmm, am I getting warmer?”
“Teachers have it easy? Well, there’s a shortage. Now’s your chance to get into a classroom and find that Shangri-La.”
“TikTok’s iced-coffee hack paired with an Instagram appetizer while wearing paid promotions for a YouTube video.”
“Between the price of gas and flight cancellations, can we just camp out in your backyard?”
“When you said you wanted to watch March Madness, I didn’t think you meant the nightly news.”
“Reply hazy, try again. Cannot predict now. Thanks for the continued indecision, Magic 8 Ball.”
“Ask me about my junk drawer.”
