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“It’s soup season. That means every recipe I make goes straight to social media. Nobody eats it, so I might as well.”
“We the people who buy groceries. We the people who buy gas. We the people who vote. Hallelujah!”
“As past presidents of the HOA, the PTA, and the bowling league… If you don’t vote, don’t complain.”
“Pumpkin Spice toilet paper and toilet bowl cleaner; you don’t have to thank us.”
“Believe it or not, Melissa, Dad and I are unable to drop everything to accommodate you. Wait for it; we have plans.”
“When they say, ‘It’s all good,’ they’re lying.”
“When sharks verbally attack.”
“Lettuce is a no-go. So I’m making this grass clippings slaw.”
“I know we’re in the backyard, but I told the Murphys we went to Costa Rica.”
“When Maxine learned lipstick has a melting point of 130 degrees Fahrenheit, she finally believed in climate change.”
