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“Remember all those candles, cousin Jeffrey made at sleepaway camp?”
“Larry, we’re getting a one-day bath remodel. But it’s some random day in 2027.”
“Protein, protein, and more protein. Where’s the crackers?”
“My 2026 plan: Less phone time, eat more blueberries, and learn Mahjong. Not necessarily in that order.”
“Everything’s weird. Let’s toast to that.”
“The day Frieda discovered her life’s work: Air Fry Fails on TikTok.
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“My new ergonomic desk was a holiday bargain. Standing and shopping is so much better for my health.”
“I told everyone not to call me because today is my Me Day. Everyone knows not to bother me on my Me Day. Hello?”
“I’m regifting my Do-It-All-Pan, because I realized I’m not doing it all or cleaning it all.”
