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“Get the robot vacuum, and let’s try curling.”
“Insufficient light, root rot, pest infestation, then sudden death… Do you understand the stress I’m under?
“I rearranged the family room; you now have extra legroom and seat selection. If you don’t like it, your funds and points will be forfeited.”
“We don’t care about the Grammys. I’d rather listen to our ringtones.”
“Remember all those candles, cousin Jeffrey made at sleepaway camp?”
“Larry, we’re getting a one-day bath remodel. But it’s some random day in 2027.”
“Protein, protein, and more protein. Where’s the crackers?”
“My 2026 plan: Less phone time, eat more blueberries, and learn Mahjong. Not necessarily in that order.”
“Everything’s weird. Let’s toast to that.”
“The day Frieda discovered her life’s work: Air Fry Fails on TikTok.
