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“If you don’t have proper eye protection for the path of totality, you might as well go change the snow tires.”
“Earthquake in the northeast and the upcoming eclipse? Let’s skip lunch and grab ice cream and cocktails.”
“When you said you wanted to watch March Madness, I didn’t think you meant the nightly news.”
“Listen, Chickie, I got jelly beans, chocolate, and marshmallows… I don’t carry those kind of gummies.”
“I have tons more pictures of my dog than my family. Why? Because Otto is a good listener.”
“Sheila’s cereal taste test podcast blows up on YouTube. She quits her job and moves to Costa Rica, where cereal influencers are unwanted.”
“Some Golden Years! We’ve gone from big family to Big Pharma.”
“May the luck of the Irish Wolfhound be with you.”
“Call the plumber, it’s not clumping.”
“Ask me about my junk drawer.”
