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“When you lose an hour of sleep just from changing all the clocks in your life; microwave, thermostat, oven, car, watches, and one actual clock.”
“It’s International Women’s Day, where’s the big sales?”
“Our next opening is Tuesday @ 3:15 five months from now. Plenty of time to floss and not lie about it.”
“The House Judiciary wants the walking papers, I mean documents.”
“Well, whaddya know? Another fiddle-leaf fig tree.”
“WikiLeaks email dump & suppressed SAT scores in the same testimony… Holy personal checks & balances, Batman!
“These home apps are enabling us to never leave the house. Maybe we should go outside or something.”
“Phyllis & Mona order Bone-Strong Margaritas; quickly discovering that tequila & soy-milk don’t mix.”
“What tax cuts? Our state was blue, no refund for you.”
“Just when you Marie Kondo’d my Bernie 2016 tees, hat, and banner… He announces a 2020 run.”
