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“Men’s beards are dirtier than dog fur. There’s a treat involved if you get yourself to a groomer.”
“Wine, salad, and the whole bread basket works for me too.”
“Alexa- ask the thousands of Amazon employees who are listening – why no gift cards for my birthday? I’ve only mentioned it like fifty times.”
“Last time greedy parents tackled little kids for candy. This year we’ve got collision insurance, and they have to sign waivers.”
“Your allergic sniffling & sneezing is bad enough. It’s the endless trail of wet tissues – that’s my tipping point.
“Summer is Coming; Easy on those limited- edition ‘Game of Thrones’ Oreos.”
“We work hard, we handbag hard.”
“Pendant lights draw the eye up. This way nobody notices my icky carpet.”
“If you had a problem with matching outfits, you should have spoken up five year’s ago.”
“Another year, another Equal Pay Day plea. Maybe more men need to go part-time and stay home with the kiddos.”
