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“The watch monitors my steps, heart rate, sleep, and hydration… Now, if I can only remember to put it on.”
“Allegedly, Martha Stewart doesn’t do red geraniums in her planters. But I’m not Martha Stewart.”
“Love you, but we already have enough mugs with a special message.”
“Remember when having a toaster oven in a dorm room violated campus policy? Just sayin'”
“It wasn’t the barking. It was Milo’s maniacal need to always be right.”
“I’m a toter; that’s the core of my being.”
“Believe me, you can live a full life without air-frying everything.”
“Forced socialization, fake collaboration, backstabbing… It’s back to the workplace.”
“Now that you’ve organized your laundry room, what’s left of your life’s work?”
“I’ve created an indoor garden of peace and tranquility. So, shut up and stop aggravating me.”
