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“At this age, I don’t care about fashion trends, social crap, and having to explain myself… But where we go to lunch matters.”
“Listen, LaBoobie, you’re not borrowing my slippers for your costume.”
“Brenda reviews Tired Old Butt Bubble Bath, only to learn it makes a better window & mirror cleaner.”
“I don’t give a fig, I’m going to spray it. You’re too obsessed with Lambie.”
“Penny’s pumpkin porch display was so elaborate that visitors had to meet her in the garage.”
“Rollo is outed for gorging on extra pepperoni during Fat Bear Week.”
“What’s National Coffee Day without a little crumb cake, or a cookie or two? Asking for a friend.”
“Mona thinks she’s all that and a bag of chips since she installed a bidet.”
“Quit reading on a backlit device emitting blue light, or I’m gonna throw my book at it.”
“I’m walking with hot coffee, my phone, and ill-fitting shoes, so keep your habitual complaining to yourself.”
