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“I got real and fake burgers and hot dogs. What time are your phony friends coming over?”
“Cancel that wellness check; he posted his Wordle score!”
“We’ve lived six decades without it, so why is full-body deodorant suddenly a thing?”
“Look, TikTok has a new way to store lettuce. We’ve been doing it wrong for 37 years.”
“You know what would be great? A swim-up bar.”
“I woke up sluggish and irritable. Now I’m peppy and cranky.”
“If you’re never going to take me to Europe, then I want a bidet!”
“Peanut butter, chicken salad, fruit… So, what’s for lunch that hasn’t been recalled?”
“No fillers. No preservatives. Sheesh! What I wouldn’t give for any crap off the sidewalk.”
“It’s not about the running; it’s the collaborative complaining about aches and pains.”
