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“Hello, you’ve turned our lawn to shredded wheat. For $215 a month, we want our green back… the lawn and the money.”
“When they say, ‘It’s all good,’ they’re wrong.”
“A real reptile in the real Amazon shopping for bargains.”
“It’s officially a heatwave when Maxine’s lipstick melts off her face, onto her summer sleeveless shift, and trends on Instagram.”
“I can’t stand the heat, and I’m getting out of the kitchen.”
“They forced us back to the office. Now I have to do all my online shopping from work.”
“The dog hates them. But Milo seems conflicted about the fireworks.”
“I got real and fake burgers and hot dogs. What time are your phony friends coming over?”
“Cancel that wellness check; he posted his Wordle score!”
“We’ve lived six decades without it, so why is full-body deodorant suddenly a thing?”
