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“Plant-based pot roast potstickers. Say that three times fast.”
“Fiddlesticks! Dagnabbit! Tarnation! I’m trying out alternate cuss words.”
“The difference between shoveable and plowable snow is me being able to get out of here to play pickleball.”
“It was all fun and games until Morty swapped golf for Mahjong.”
“No chips, ice cream, and no glass of beer to cry in because salmon and salad is your new reality.”
“We’ll never make it to midnight. Let’s make popcorn and see if we can last until ten-thirty.”
“I threw all their gifts into one big box and slapped a bow on it. “
“We’re not sending cards, and we’re not doing the gift thing. After 40 years of thankless holidays, you’re welcome.”
“This year, we didn’t go anywhere or do anything, and It’s the S.O.S. with the family. The Smiths. Finally! A great holiday newsletter.”
“Pee.Poop.Eat.Sleep. My week is wall-to-wall.”
