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“The dog hates them. But Milo seems conflicted about the fireworks.”
“I got real and fake burgers and hot dogs. What time are your phony friends coming over?”
“Cancel that wellness check; he posted his Wordle score!”
“We’ve lived six decades without it, so why is full-body deodorant suddenly a thing?”
“Look, TikTok has a new way to store lettuce. We’ve been doing it wrong for 37 years.”
“You know what would be great? A swim-up bar.”
“I woke up sluggish and irritable. Now I’m peppy and cranky.”
“If you’re never going to take me to Europe, then I want a bidet!”
“Peanut butter, chicken salad, fruit… So, what’s for lunch that hasn’t been recalled?”
“No fillers. No preservatives. Sheesh! What I wouldn’t give for any crap off the sidewalk.”
