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“A penguin in a two-piece swimsuit in Antarctica. Hmmm, am I getting warmer?”
“Red Vines, wine, and potato chips… Time to celebrate Galentine’s and Valentine’s Day.”
“Look, I made two winning chips & dips… and one loser dip for the four NFL teams who have never been to the Super Bowl.”
“Who needs a toxic gas stove when we can enjoy the great outdoors – and fine particle air pollution?
“Girl, stop apologizing for the egg prices… Peck those suppliers, OK?”
“We don’t care about the Grammys. We’re not old; we’re selectively not current.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“Yes, you’re correct, I said, Dump-and-Go-Dinner.”
“Most people are bored at work. So I signed us up for chair yoga.”
“Lead pencils have no lead. Just chocolate, baby food, and every lipstick we’ve ever owned.”
