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“Ugh, I’m over it. Instead of texting Happy New Year, let’s throw our phones out the window.”
“Goblin Mode is the word of the year, and for the last 364 days, I never heard of it.”
“Stop saying you’re overstuffed! I told you to order the XXL racing tee.”
“It’s One-Pot Cooking Season. From now until March, everything, and I mean everything, is coming out of this one pot.”
“We just hit 10,000 words on our talk.”
“Red team, blue team, we all scream for ice-cream. How’s that for a unifying message?”
“Listen, Sweetie, who needs me when you can do Ina Garten’s make-ahead Coquilles St. Jacques for Thanksgiving?”
“Embracing the gray, the eye bags, and the donut… Enjoying some sprinkles with my wrinkles.”
“How are our costumes offensive and culturally inappropriate? He’s a real clown and I can be a real bitch.”
“Without a charcuterie board template, it’s cheese and cracker chaos.”
