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“Red Vines, wine, and potato chips… Time to celebrate Galentine’s and Valentine’s Day.”
“Look, I made two winning chips & dips… and one loser dip for the four NFL teams who have never been to the Super Bowl.”
“Who needs a toxic gas stove when we can enjoy the great outdoors – and fine particle air pollution?
“Girl, stop apologizing for the egg prices… Peck those suppliers, OK?”
“We don’t care about the Grammys. We’re not old; we’re selectively not current.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“Yes, you’re correct, I said, Dump-and-Go-Dinner.”
“Most people are bored at work. So I signed us up for chair yoga.”
“Lead pencils have no lead. Just chocolate, baby food, and every lipstick we’ve ever owned.”
“Ugh, I’m over it. Instead of texting Happy New Year, let’s throw our phones out the window.”
