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“Expresso martinis are everything. Caffeine, alcohol, and more foam than that guy’s beer.”
“OK, Milo- enough with the surprises.”
“Post-yoga matcha tea with a vegan brownie. I’m at one with the universe and baked goods.”
“A penguin in a two-piece swimsuit in Antarctica. Hmmm, am I getting warmer?”
“Red Vines, wine, and potato chips… Time to celebrate Galentine’s and Valentine’s Day.”
“Look, I made two winning chips & dips… and one loser dip for the four NFL teams who have never been to the Super Bowl.”
“Who needs a toxic gas stove when we can enjoy the great outdoors – and fine particle air pollution?
“Girl, stop apologizing for the egg prices… Peck those suppliers, OK?”
“We don’t care about the Grammys. We’re not old; we’re selectively not current.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”