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“I bought twenty-four boxes of conversation hearts because texting with my husband is ridiculous.”
“Thank goodness for the Super Bowl. I needed a day off from healthy snacks.”
“I know you’re down the hall, but I suddenly felt nostalgic for our old Zoom calls.”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app gambling away your inheritance.”
“The groundhogs predict six more weeks of number-one ratings for their podcast.”
“Pick up your dirty clothes; I’m turning the shower into a spa.”
“Excuse me, we’re not ladies who lunch. We’re Renaissance Women.”
“Stop calling it an “adult sippy cup.” Take your nap, and then we’ll have a snack.”
“Nope, nope, and nope. Adding another sports streaming service isn’t self-care.”
“Five potatoes, three mushrooms, packets of soy sauce, chocolate chips… and wait for it, no recipe card.”
