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“Goes green by riding her bike to get coffee – Then puts plastic footprint in mouth with single use cup, straw, stirrer and two creamer thingies.”
“No worries calling me at work. I’m just browsing Indeed and LinkedIn looking for another job.”
“There is no going back to the 90’s. Big Tech – wish we knew how to quit you.”
“Gloria grilled fake meat for her BBQ – then wondered if her phony guests truly liked them.”
“This call is an official final notice. We have filed a lawsuit. Call now for immediate payment with a dry kibble wire transfer.”
“Fifty years ago we were at Woodstock. Now we’re at the diner, ‘Power to the pea soup!’
“We don’t need no stinking pool noodles.”
“Once Upon a Time… Alan bought into a seafood franchise without reading the fine print.”
“A yearly/weekly/daily monthly/planner helps organize stressful lives – with colorful sticky notes & pointless task lists.”
“Here’s to eco-friendly $50.00 designer water bottles. We’re conspicuously sustainability-conscious, but broke.”
