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“A yearly/weekly/daily monthly/planner helps organize stressful lives – with colorful sticky notes & pointless task lists.”
“Here’s to eco-friendly $50.00 designer water bottles. We’re conspicuously sustainability-conscious, but broke.”
“Stay indoors with air-conditioning,and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Sounds like the wine bar is safer than the beach.
“With gators spotted in Chicago, Connecticut, and on meth in Tennessee… Wally gets some steps in the Bronx.”
“Lightly oaked Chardonnay, Pinot Noir & Grigio – Totally pairs well with potato chips. Google it.”
“Fanny packs of the 80’s are now belt bags. I prefer Boob Bundle.”
“See the patio umbrella, be the patio umbrella, receive the patio umbrella.”
“Nothing can be done with three pounds of potato salad, two s’mores, and one hot dog. The Dinner-Spin-It app says just grab the car keys & the chips.”
“Before we get into vacation photos, amazing pets, and cute grandchildren – let’s talk politics, religion, sex, and money.”
“Don’t talk about politics or religion. Stick with your zucchini garden and colonizing Mars.”
