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“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“Expresso martinis are everything. Caffeine, alcohol, and more foam than that guy’s beer.”
“Post-yoga matcha tea with a vegan brownie. I’m at one with the universe and baked goods.”
“Who needs a toxic gas stove when we can enjoy the great outdoors – and fine particle air pollution?
“We don’t care about the Grammys. We’re not old; we’re selectively not current.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“Yes, you’re correct, I said, Dump-and-Go-Dinner.”
“Ugh, I’m over it. Instead of texting Happy New Year, let’s throw our phones out the window.”
“Goblin Mode is the word of the year, and for the last 364 days, I never heard of it.”
“It’s One-Pot Cooking Season. From now until March, everything, and I mean everything, is coming out of this one pot.”
