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“Who needs a toxic gas stove when we can enjoy the great outdoors – and fine particle air pollution?
“We don’t care about the Grammys. We’re not old; we’re selectively not current.”
“The groundhog phones it in… Six more weeks in Aruba.”
“Yes, you’re correct, I said, Dump-and-Go-Dinner.”
“Ugh, I’m over it. Instead of texting Happy New Year, let’s throw our phones out the window.”
“Goblin Mode is the word of the year, and for the last 364 days, I never heard of it.”
“It’s One-Pot Cooking Season. From now until March, everything, and I mean everything, is coming out of this one pot.”
“Red team, blue team, we all scream for ice-cream. How’s that for a unifying message?”
“Embracing the gray, the eye bags, and the donut… Enjoying some sprinkles with my wrinkles.”
“How are our costumes offensive and culturally inappropriate? He’s a real clown and I can be a real bitch.”
