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“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
“No worries! Our holograms are going to their house for Thanksgiving.”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
“Listen, I’m a nagger not an influencer.
“Check the tag. “Constant Complainer” is a real tea.”
“Shark Week? What happened to Scrod Week?
“Dog Anxiety Chews?!? My fireworks coping skills involve hot-dogs and a bus ticket to Toronto.”
“Great Balls-O-Ice! The thing we didn’t know we needed. “
“Hard stop on the surf shack. You’ll be getting a pineapple upside-down cake and a card.”
“You say cicada, I say cicadahhh…. You say tomato, I say cicadahhh.”
