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“No worries! Our holograms are going to their house for Thanksgiving.”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
“Listen, I’m a nagger not an influencer.
“Check the tag. “Constant Complainer” is a real tea.”
“Shark Week? What happened to Scrod Week?
“Dog Anxiety Chews?!? My fireworks coping skills involve hot-dogs and a bus ticket to Toronto.”
“Great Balls-O-Ice! The thing we didn’t know we needed. “
“Hard stop on the surf shack. You’ll be getting a pineapple upside-down cake and a card.”
“You say cicada, I say cicadahhh…. You say tomato, I say cicadahhh.”
“Know what you’re looking for, check the fiber content, visually inspect… Life is like a good bath towel.”
