Skip to content
“My new ergonomic desk was a holiday bargain. Standing and shopping is so much better for my health.”
“Come on, Sheila – it’s so much easier to order five pizzas.”
“I told everyone not to call me because today is my Me Day. Everyone knows not to bother me on my Me Day. Hello?”
“I’m regifting my Do-It-All-Pan, because I realized I’m not doing it all or cleaning it all.”
“The holidays are coming, where can we go to escape the family?”
“From now until April, everything, and I mean everything, will be coming out of this one pot. Over and out.”
“Sheila sat in the good chair, picked up the remote, and made everyone watch her dopey shows. This inspired the rest of the family to join bowling leagues.”
“Does getting up a few times a night to tinkle count towards my daily 10,000 steps?”
“Forget finding a nice guy, I’m trying to find a good Primary Care doctor.”
“Don’t forget to turn your clocks and donuts back one hour.”
Posts navigation
