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“Listen, Mindy, Daddy, and I can only cover an engagement party or Springsteen tickets. Pick one!”
“I can’t stand the heat, so I’m getting out of the kitchen.”
“TikTok’s iced-coffee hack paired with an Instagram appetizer while wearing paid promotions for a YouTube video.”
“When sharks verbally attack.”
“Stay hydrated, avoid strenuous activity, and stop texting me every three minutes.”
“Hello, HOA? For $315 bucks a month, can we switch out the shredded wheat for Lucky Charms’ green grass?”
“I’ve been trying to spend money all day, but everything’s sold out.”
“OK, TikTok has a new way to store lettuce. This is what you meant by let’s spice things up?”
“You can’t get a reservation at a feeder! First, it was the squirrels, and now it’s the bears.”
“Got real and fake burgers. Also, real and faux hot dogs. What time are the genuine and phony friends arriving?”
