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“My 2026 plan: Less phone time, eat more blueberries, and learn Mahjong. Not necessarily in that order.”
“Everything’s weird. Let’s toast to that.”
“I like to give it a few days before tossing all the holiday cookies and candy. You know, as a courtesy.”
“The day Frieda discovered her life’s work: Air Fry Fails on TikTok.
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“When you’re freezing, and someone sends you a GIF of a Penguin in a bikini.”
“My new ergonomic desk was a holiday bargain. Standing and shopping is so much better for my health.”
“Come on, Sheila – it’s so much easier to order five pizzas.”
“I told everyone not to call me because today is my Me Day. Everyone knows not to bother me on my Me Day. Hello?”
“I’m regifting my Do-It-All-Pan, because I realized I’m not doing it all or cleaning it all.”
