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“Whelp, it’s four o’clock somewhere.”
“I hate when the kids go back to school. No crumbs on the floor until after 3 PM.”
“Oh, we’re wearing white after Labor Day… and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it.”
“I’m totally over being positive all the time.”
“Your cousin is stuck on the Space Station. So I volunteered you to mow their grass.”
“Would you please tell your father it’s not a DIY project if he’s involving me?”
“I feel so defeated when they insist on cleaning our toys.”
“Let’s toast to another week of crazy.”
“I know you’re on a diet. These cupcakes are for my Zoom meeting.”
“It doesn’t count as screen time if I’m walking.”
