Skip to content
“I’ll only do a holiday cookie swap if there’s a Slice & Bake Bouncer by the door.”
“After 40 years of thankless holidays, our presence is your present. You’re welcome!”
“It’s slow cooker season. From now until April, everything, and I mean everything, is coming out of this one pot. Any questions?”
“I’ve eaten so much since Thursday, so I’m only doing salad and maybe a few crescent rolls, a little stuffing, and pie.”
“We were ordered back into the office full-time. The good news? All my online shopping orders are delivered here.”
“When they say, Go! Run to the nearest vegan.”
“They’re oversized frames to help me see better. Right now, I see you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”
“Listen, Gary. It’s a happy hour. It’s not a whining, complaining, annoying hour.”
“Not watching the returns. I’ll be binging that romance TV channel – magically transporting me to a small town filled with love and schlocky songs.”
“Turned my clock and donut back one hour.”
