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“One hundred and twenty-five dollars later… you better all grow, or else.”
“The Peloton got recalled, so I used your mountain bike for a double-scoop spin class.”
“They sent some Home Spa kit. Two eye thingies and a loofah to exfoliate my tough exterior.”
“Forget the Met Gala. I’ll tell you what’s hip and trending… cottage cheese.”
“These days, all I do is drink and pee. So, might as well re-do the bathroom.”
“After the Easter Bunny turned fifty, there was no more hippity hoppity down the trail.”
“I embrace this busy epidemic. Because If I’m too busy, I don’t have to do stuff.”
“Classic meatloaf, turkey meatloaf, meatless meatloaf, and make-your-own-darn-meatloaf.”
“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“I don’t think he has rabies, but he does want to trade an acorn for my water bottle.”
