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“Good pollinators can stay. Everyone else? I’m coming for your stingin’, bitin’ butts.”
“Granola bars, Krispie Treats, cookies, trail mix… Our kids are thirty, but who can resist Back-to-School snacks on sale?”
“They’re on this whole pet parents’ kick. We’re not dogs; we’re fur babies. I’m like, whatever, share the burgers.”
“I know we’re in the backyard. But I told the Murphys we went to Costa Rica.”
“Life is passing us by. Look, Halloween stuff is already out.”
“Honestly? I can’t even count everything I can do with rotisserie chicken.”
“Today’s horoscope says you’re not interested in money or materialism. No worries if I win that lottery jackpot.”
“Hey Tina, your no-show socks are showing.”
“Mocktails are expensive because they have complex flavors, decorative ice cubes, and cucumber ribbon garnishes. So worth it.”
“Listen, Sheila, Rusty, and I tolerate the toothbrushing, but you wanna floss? Start with yourself.”
