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“We’re running late. Someone cast a spell on the car battery.”
“Phyllis, I can’t speak for the cat, but I’ll pee on any costume you force me into.”
“My kids are all grown. I’m buying it for the squirrels.”
“Fluffball is a trained diet attack dog. You take one bite, and all hell’s breaking loose.”
“Every time anyone gets a text, take a sip.”
“Frankly, we don’t give a Shacket if you like them or not.”
“OK, what series do you want to fall asleep to this evening?”
“Oh, and one more thing… You’ll need to use the backdoor until after Thanksgiving.”
“Is the cat sick, or is this another one of your air fryer fails?”
“Wine in a box, beer in a box, cocktails in a box, and a box of cookies. What can I get you?”
