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“Brace yourself, we’re wearing white after Labor Day.”
“It’s officially the end of summer when Brenda gets pool noodles for 70% off.”
“Boob sweat, dry cracked feet, melting make-up, ingrown hairs…. I love summer.”
“It’s amazing how much racket one straw and a large cup of iced cubes can make.”
“Who needs to go into space? Here, we’ve got 25 pickleball courts!”
“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“They’re oversized frames to help me see better. Right now, I see you’re not listening to a word I’m saying.”
“I’ll tell you why. Fitted sheets have stretchy, rounded edges… just like me.”
“It’s officially a heatwave when Maxine’s lipstick melts off her face, onto her summer sleeveless shift, and trends on Instagram.”
“If you’re never going to take me to Europe, then I want a bidet!”
