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“Sheila summons the slow cooker universe for strength on day 343 of kitchen duty.”
“Keep cheering the Mars rover landing… Because when this is over, we’re getting the hell out of here.”
“What am I doing? Oh, just taking a staycation with the three day old paper.”
“The Yellow bellied-Sapsucker is currently at another feeder. Can I take a message?”
“Sweetie, nobody needs organic guacamole on Superspreader Sunday.”
“From retired to social media influencer: Aunt Shirley tells you where you’re wrong.”
“In the era of anxious. In the sea of despair-Ta da! The Golden Globe nominations.”
“Groundhogs across the nation call it in.”
“Double masks are recommended and there’s a Grape-Nuts Shortage… Anything else?”
