Skip to content
“Landline old is a thing.”
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“Two bathroom trips and one hour of negative-self talk later Gloria realizes it’s only 3:15 AM.”
“I’m having tea, and he’s on a sports betting app gambling away your inheritance.”
“No worries about remote work and productivity. I’m 100% on task in slippers and PJs.”
“The only thing more riveting than an HOA meeting is a virtual HOA meeting.”
“I’m all about eating smart. But where did you hide my stupid cookies?”
“After nine long months, introducing our new baby: 319 lbs. 4 oz. 70 inches. Our hearts are full.”
“Whelp, it’s four o’clock somewhere.”
“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
