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“Whelp, it’s four o’clock somewhere.”
“I’ve discovered my true calling… Trader Joe’s hauls.”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
“Listen, I’m a nagger not an influencer.
“Check the tag. “Constant Complainer” is a real tea.”
“Great Balls-O-Ice! The thing we didn’t know we needed. “
“You say cicada, I say cicadahhh…. You say tomato, I say cicadahhh.”
“Know what you’re looking for, check the fiber content, visually inspect… Life is like a good bath towel.”
“I’m on a fun run. Can we whine later?”
“How can skinny jeans be out of style? I just got three pairs on clearance.”
