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“Everything’s weird. Let’s toast to that.”
“The day Frieda discovered her life’s work: Air Fry Fails on TikTok.
“When your cousin in Cleveland sends you Florida oranges in Florida.”
“My new ergonomic desk was a holiday bargain. Standing and shopping is so much better for my health.”
“I told everyone not to call me because today is my Me Day. Everyone knows not to bother me on my Me Day. Hello?”
“I’m regifting my Do-It-All-Pan, because I realized I’m not doing it all or cleaning it all.”
“Sheila sat in the good chair, picked up the remote, and made everyone watch her dopey shows. This inspired the rest of the family to join bowling leagues.”
“Forget finding a nice guy, I’m trying to find a good Primary Care doctor.”
“Listen, LaBoobie, you’re not borrowing my slippers for your costume.”
“I don’t give a fig, I’m going to spray it. You’re too obsessed with Lambie.”
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