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“Sheila’s cereal taste test blows up on TikTok. She quits her job and moves to Costa Rica, where cereal influencers are unwanted.”
“As long as we’re talking labels, I’m a Plant Parent.”
“Listen, Honey, stop being so triggered. Your privilege is showing!”
“I keep buying cordless vacuums that don’t work. There, I’ve said it.”
“They’re oversized frames to fit my personality. What’s your motivation?”
“Three litter boxes, wall-to-wall carpeting, and good faucets are must-haves.”
“My current state of being is comfoozled. Look it up.”
“Ordered back to the office full-time. Who knew my boss, Phyllis, was in cahoots with Big Oil.”
“Eleven clocks, four smoke alarm batteries, and one less hour of sleep… Spring Forward yourself.
“Forkage Fee? Is this even a real thing?”
