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“When sharks verbally attack.”
“Hello, HOA? For $315 bucks a month, can we switch out the shredded wheat for Lucky Charms’ green grass?”
“I’ve been trying to spend money all day, but everything’s sold out.”
“OK, TikTok has a new way to store lettuce. This is what you meant by let’s spice things up?”
“You can’t get a reservation at a feeder! First, it was the squirrels, and now it’s the bears.”
“We’re not in the kitchen; we’re on the pickleball court.”
“The bad news? There’s a tampon shortage. The good news? We’re post-menopausal.”
“Hey, you know what would be great? A swim-up bar.”
“Good or bad, Yogurt Toast is trending on TikTok, and that’s that.”
“Peanut butter, chicken salad, fruit… So, what’s for lunch that hasn’t been recalled?”
