Skip to content
“Who needs to go into space? Here, we’ve got 25 pickleball courts!”
“Look, I’m just doing my part to help lower your cholesterol.”
“Ask me about my junk drawer.”
“This year I’m only doing plastic eggs, and those marshmallow things that look like you.”
“Promoting flakes and flax as an ill-informed know-it-all, Sheila aspires to be a full-time cold cereal influencer.”
“I’m on a news diet. Cottage cheese and no baloney.”
“I swiffed all the wine glasses. Spring cleaning is officially over.”
“I’d offer you a cookie, but lately they’re too dang expensive. How about a crash course in civics?”
“If you insist on watching the news, you must get the ice cream and chips and make two double high-balls.”
“Grade A, my rump! Egg prices are sky-high, and they’re paying us chicken feed.”