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“No, you can’t. Even with pet insurance, they still get to pick the vet.”
“Rarely snappy, Gary decides to become an emotional support alligator.”
“Wanna go out? Wanna treat? Get your toy! Helicopter Pet Parents are a thing.”
“They make stuff up, and then we’re force-fed pills with peanut butter schmear.”
“It wasn’t the barking, it was Cuddles’ maniacal need to always be right.”
“Don’t they realize we smell those plug-in air-freshener thingies 1000 times more than they do?
“May the luck of the Irish Wolfhound be with you.”
“OK, Fluffy, the stare at nothing schtick is getting old.
“Pee.Poop.Eat.Sleep. My week is wall to wall.”
“Define psychopathic traits because all cats are a little crazy.”
