January 22, 2020 Miami Ice “We fell because of the cold snap. Now the kids want to put us in an assisted pet store.”
January 12, 2020 Family Leave “Call a caterer and that cleaning service. Because we’re taking a break from our family’s royal duties
January 6, 2020 Not OK, Tweeter “Rising Costs in 2020: Oil prices, Health insurance, Prescription Drugs, Food, Cable & Streaming… Guess your tweets are sufficient notice we’re gonna be broke.”
November 13, 2019 Read’em & Bleep “A transcript is a verbatim record. They released a summary. Like if HR read your version of college-versus official grades from the Registrar’s Office.”
October 18, 2019 Women Who Walk “The first all-female spacewalk. Unlike us, they didn’t need three Grande Lattes to step out.”
September 26, 2019 Last Call “Looks like they switched out the Happy Hour Menu with the Whistleblower Complaint.”
September 3, 2019 Hurricane Warning “Dangerous winds, life threatening storm surge, flood hazards. Nothing like beer filled gawkers and snacks on surfboards.”
August 26, 2019 Sit.Stay.Chew “Rusty, it’s schlocky movie night. Fox News, CNN, and that 24/7 shopping channel just leads to growling, howling, and begging.”
August 19, 2019 Dog Robocalls “This call is an official final notice. We have filed a lawsuit. Call now for immediate payment with a dry kibble wire transfer.”
August 13, 2019 Likely Story “A convicted billionaire sex trafficker is jailed alone. Then suicide while unmonitored – followed by suspicion & conspiracy. I forgot the ending – but we read this for Book Club.”