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“Even If I win the Mega Millions, I will keep my job. My boss can’t find anyone for 23K a year with no benefits.”
“When you said you wanted to watch March Madness, I didn’t think you meant the nightly news.”
“My mantra is goodbye. So, goodbye.”
“Disneyland? We’re going to the lipstick counter!”
“The USPS is slowing down mail delivery and raising stamp prices. We’re finally off the holiday-photo-card hook!”
“You say cicada, I say cicadahhh…. You say tomato, I say cicadahhh.”
“Double masks are recommended and there’s a Grape-Nuts Shortage… Anything else?”
“15K in one day from GameStop? Listen Mister, you haven’t picked up your room or cleared the dishwasher.”
“When this old world starts getting you down; Signs you need to take the ‘news’ out of ‘newsfeed'”
