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“So, you’re ditching Twitter in protest? Newsflash, you’re not even on Twitter.”
“Sheila’s cereal taste test blows up on TikTok. She quits her job and moves to Costa Rica, where cereal influencers are unwanted.”
“Listen, Honey, stop being so triggered. Your privilege is showing!”
“When you said you wanted to watch March Madness, I didn’t think you meant the nightly news.”
“The Batman meets The Neighbor.”
“Nordic Combined, Luge, and Speed Skating. Tomorrow is laundry, work, dentist.”
“They did Dancing With the Stars. Now they’re stuck inside a house filled with cameras. Riveting.”
“TV characters are suffering heart attacks on fitness bikes. Probably too many onion rings.”
“Shark Week? What happened to Scrod Week?
“Remember? Princess decides what we watch this weekend.”
