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“I rearranged the family room; you now have extra legroom and seat selection. If you don’t like it, your funds and points will be forfeited.”
“The holidays are coming, where can we go to escape the family?”
“From now until April, everything, and I mean everything, will be coming out of this one pot. Over and out.”
“I have tons more pictures of my dog than my family. Why? Because Otto is a good listener.”
“Some Golden Years! We’ve gone from big family to Big Pharma.”
“Three hours in a crowded orchard with screaming kids and their crazy parents; a fall family tradition.”
“Pumpkin Spice toilet paper and toilet bowl cleaner; you don’t have to thank us.”
“Would you please tell your father it’s not a DIY project if he’s involving me?”
“Announcement. Shower. Invitation. Save the date for no thank you notes.”
“Listen, Mindy, Daddy, and I can only cover an engagement party or Springsteen tickets. Pick one!”
