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“They left me all alone with my fireworks anxiety. Gonna live-stream; Stress chewing, nervous peeing, and getting into their CBD oil stash.”
“Our menu is farm-to-table- to-floor. Feel free to chase the truck.”
“Grumpy cat passed away. But your cheery, happy, easygoing dog needs to go out now.”
“A good pack leader, responsible, kind, respectful, no continuous barking. Plus, own that poop and pick it up… That’s my perfect candidate.”
“Men’s beards are dirtier than dog fur. There’s a treat involved if you get yourself to a groomer.”
“Once upon a time before these damn ticks took over the yard.”
“Rusty, as a top social media influencer – getting into driving school was all you.”
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways: Three electric brooms, two upright vacuums , and one hundred lint rollers later.”
“That dog bakery better be participating in National Cookie Day, or else I’m destructively chewing something.”
“The Mega Millions jackpot is now $1.6 billion. This simply states If we win – 50/50 split.”
