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“This year Nana spent all her money on insulin. Now Nana’s vacation is watching this #@$# tank parade.”
“If you had a problem with matching outfits, you should have spoken up five year’s ago.”
“Same kibble, different day.”
“It’s International Women’s Day, where’s the big sales?”
“Another day, another billionaire ego trip. I’d vote Ovaltine over that Starbuck’s guy for president.”
“It’s a chronic mess with no spark of joy. Time for Marie Kondo to declutter Washington.”
“No FDA food safety inspections. Nothing like a wall of bacteria.”
“GoFundMe raises millions for that border wall. Next up, a national bake-sale to fix the infrastructure.”
“Claims Department, can I help? Sorry, False Statement headquarters is in Washington. Hope someone can help us all.”
“I’m not sending holiday cards. Decided to just post messages of good-will, civility, and please stop tweeting baloney.”