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“How do I know she’s eavesdropping? I can smell the hazelnut, Doris.”
“I’d offer you a cookie, but lately they’re too dang expensive. How about a crash course in civics?”
“Oh, we’re wearing white after Labor Day… and there’s not a darn thing you can do about it.”
“Your cousin is stuck on the Space Station. So I volunteered you to mow their grass.”
“Peanut butter, chicken salad, fruit… So, what’s for lunch that hasn’t been recalled?”
“How can I be toxic? I’m wearing polka-dots.”
“Stop calling it an “adult sippy cup.” Take your nap, and then we’ll have a snack.”
“Five potatoes, three mushrooms, packets of soy sauce, chocolate chips… and wait for it, no recipe card.”
“Expresso martinis are everything. Caffeine, alcohol, and more foam than that guy’s beer.”
“A penguin in a two-piece swimsuit in Antarctica. Hmmm, am I getting warmer?”
