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“Pajama Party?! We’re flying to Fort Lauderdale.”
“I hate the washing machine. It’s going to take at least three weeks to get our stink back into the toys.”
“Larry, we’re getting a one-day bath remodel. But it’s some random day in 2027.”
“I told everyone not to call me because today is my Me Day. Everyone knows not to bother me on my Me Day. Hello?”
“Don’t forget to turn your clocks and donuts back one hour.”
“Quit reading on a backlit device emitting blue light, or I’m gonna throw my book at it.”
“Some either hated this book, didn’t read it, or couldn’t care less. Who wants wine?”
“This waterbottle comes with an app. You’re going to need three restroom stops on this walk.”
“How do I know she’s eavesdropping? I can smell the hazelnut, Doris.”
“I’d offer you a cookie, but lately they’re too dang expensive. How about a crash course in civics?”