Glad Dad

“Thanks for the Father’s Day gifts. You can never have enough potty putters or singing trouts.” 

Murky Water

“If the Clean Water Rule is repealed – it’s a gift for corporate polluters. Glad we don’t live in a stream, river or ocean – because then we’d really be in trouble.”

Watering Worry

“That May container garden seemed like a good idea, until Florence remembered she wanted to go away in August.” 

Undeliverable

“What he really wants for Father’s Day is to have my boxes stop; Amazon, Kohl’s, Costco, Walmart, Target…”

Magazine Mama

“A Month of Easy Suppers. Quick 20 Minute Meals. Shortcut Dinners. Easier To Dine Out Than Cook All This.” 

Off Course

“Canada and the rest of the G7 were miffed. Before booking that cruise – let’s see who else gets irked.” 

Standing Up

“For all the road comics who will never get their own sitcom; You got two chances and squandered it all with one racist tweet. Whelp, I’ll be in Cleveland on Friday, Detroit on Saturday…”