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“Glad they cancelled Woodstock’s 50th. The New York State Thruway stays open man.”
“Ugly cabinets. Zero storage. No counter space. Funky floors. My universe.”
“Tie-Dye, Neon & Fanny Packs are baaack! Take that Marie Kondo.”
“It’s from the boss,’Printer is jammed. Deleted my presentation. Phones are going crazy. Are you near the office? ‘ Seriously? This is too funny!’
“Time for all cleaning & clutter articles to transfer over to the men’s magazines… And take that tasty weeknight recipes fold-out too.”
“The closet organizer blew my cover. That’s when he learned the hard truth about my handbag collection.”
“I woke-up with a headache, I’m having my coffee, and then I’ll be at your egg hunt. Problem, Karen?”
“Men’s beards are dirtier than dog fur. There’s a treat involved if you get yourself to a groomer.”
“Wine, salad, and the whole bread basket works for me too.”
“Alexa- ask the thousands of Amazon employees who are listening – why no gift cards for my birthday? I’ve only mentioned it like fifty times.”
