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“Severe Alabama Slammer targeting all U.S. ovaries; Flash floods of women unite to fight this forecast.”
“Didn’t the DNC learn anything from 2016? When Fox News invites you to their town hall – Just Bring It.”
“Honey, I know it’s not personal. But when Big Pharma raises lifesaving drug prices, you’re here meeting someone for coffee.”
“‘40% of mom’s fake their gift reactions; ‘I really needed this.’ ‘Awww!’ ‘Wow, this is great!’ – So texting my wish-list right now.”
“Grandma’s got a Device-Free Dinner policy. Forget mom & dad; turn it off or call your lawyer.”
“Executive Privilege? Guess the Checks & Balances Rest Stop is closed.”
“No plants. No spa day. You know what we really want? A day off from them.”
“NY – The first U.S. state to ban cat declawing? With nail salons on every corner, it’s about damn time.”
“A good pack leader, responsible, kind, respectful, no continuous barking. Plus, own that poop and pick it up… That’s my perfect candidate.”
“Glad they cancelled Woodstock’s 50th. The New York State Thruway stays open man.”
