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“There’s a traffic jam on Mount Everest – So, that’s out.”
“Our menu is farm-to-table- to-floor. Feel free to chase the truck.”
“I have to focus on the next eight hours of work stress, anxiety, and feeling chronically distracted by your endless interruptions.”
“Time for a girl’s trip where we rough it; unplugged, outdoorsy, with a battery operated chandelier in our tent.”
“Grumpy cat passed away. But your cheery, happy, easygoing dog needs to go out now.”
“Severe Alabama Slammer targeting all U.S. ovaries; Flash floods of women unite to fight this forecast.”
“Didn’t the DNC learn anything from 2016? When Fox News invites you to their town hall – Just Bring It.”
“Honey, I know it’s not personal. But when Big Pharma raises lifesaving drug prices, you’re here meeting someone for coffee.”
“‘40% of mom’s fake their gift reactions; ‘I really needed this.’ ‘Awww!’ ‘Wow, this is great!’ – So texting my wish-list right now.”
“Grandma’s got a Device-Free Dinner policy. Forget mom & dad; turn it off or call your lawyer.”