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“Once Upon a Time… Alan bought into a seafood franchise without reading the fine print.”
“A yearly/weekly/daily monthly/planner helps organize stressful lives – with colorful sticky notes & pointless task lists.”
“Forget this Libs versus Moderates Summer Slam. Who here can win the Smackdown Main Event with The Tweeter?”
“All these 2020 Democratic candidate choices. First we pick one from column A, then one from column B. Afterwards, they need to toss the leftovers.”
“Here’s to eco-friendly $50.00 designer water bottles. We’re conspicuously sustainability-conscious, but broke.”
“Actually, it’s like a real Twilight Zone episode. Wrong is right, and right has a 24/7 TV network.”
“Sitting here aggravating, while our democracy is marinating.”
“These are eco-friendly bamboo straws. Think Gilligan’s Island meets CNN.”
“Stay indoors with air-conditioning,and hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Sounds like the wine bar is safer than the beach.
“Oh, I thought it said: EXCESSIVE TWEET WARNING.”
